Three Is Harder

Cam had two best friends, and that was one too many.

Not because Cam didn't love them both. Cam loved them completely both. That was the whole problem.

There was Joy, who had a laugh so loud it could scare birds off a fence. And there was Marco, who could build anything out of anything — once he made a working catapult out of popsicle sticks and a rubber band, and it launched a grape clear across the cafeteria.

When it was just Cam and Joy, everything was perfect. They'd walk to the creek behind the school and skip stones and talk about which animal would win in a race — a cheetah or a falcon. Joy always said falcon. Cam always said cheetah. They never agreed, and that was fine.

When it was just Cam and Marco, everything was perfect too. They'd sit on Marco's back porch and draw maps of imaginary countries with names like "Spaghettistan" and "The United States of Pancake." Marco would add mountains. Cam would add rivers. They could do it for hours.

But when it was all three of them together?

Somebody always ended up walking behind.

It happened on a Tuesday. They were heading to the playground after school, and the sidewalk was only wide enough for two. Joy and Marco were up front talking about a movie Cam hadn't seen.

"Remember the part with the dragon?" Marco said.

"YES! And it sneezed and the whole castle caught fire!" Joy said, and she did her big laugh — the bird-scaring one.

Cam walked behind them, stepping on cracks.

Step. Crack. Step. Crack.

They weren't being mean. Cam knew that. They just... forgot to turn around.

When they got to the playground, Joy said, "Let's go on the swings!" and grabbed Marco's arm, and they ran. There were only two swings.

Cam stood by the slide and watched them pump their legs higher and higher, their shoes touching the sky.

"Come push me!" Joy called.

But Cam didn't want to push. Cam wanted to swing.

It happened again on Thursday. They were picking teams for kickball at recess, and Marco was a captain. He picked Joy first. Joy cheered and ran over to his side.

Cam waited.

Marco picked Devon second.

Cam's stomach did a slow, heavy flip.

Marco picked Cam third and said, "Obviously I was saving you!" and smiled his big Marco smile. But obviously didn't feel so obvious when you were standing there waiting, watching other names get called first.

And then came Saturday.

Cam's mom was driving them all to the adventure park — the one with the zip line and the rock wall and the giant jumping pillow. They'd been planning it for two weeks. Cam had marked the calendar with three stars, one for each of them.

In the car, Joy and Marco sat in the back seat. Cam sat in the middle row, alone.

Joy and Marco played a hand-clap game and kept messing up and laughing. Cam looked out the window at the trees blurring by and felt something heavy sitting right in the middle of Cam's chest, like a stone that had swallowed a stone.

At the adventure park, they raced to the zip line. The instructor said, "Two at a time."

Joy grabbed Marco's hand. "Us first!"

They zipped across, screaming and laughing, and Cam stood at the top of the platform, holding the harness straps, watching them land on the other side.

I'm always the one watching, Cam thought.

When it was Cam's turn, the instructor said, "Want to wait for a partner?"

"No," Cam said. "I'll go alone."

Cam zipped across the line, and the wind rushed past, and for three seconds everything felt fast and free and perfect. Then Cam landed, and Joy and Marco were already running toward the rock wall.

At lunch, they sat at a picnic table. Cam's mom had packed sandwiches — turkey for Cam, peanut butter for Joy, ham for Marco. They all had juice boxes and apple slices and one cookie each.

Joy and Marco were drawing on their napkins. Marco was sketching a dragon. Joy was adding fire coming out of its nose.

"That's from the movie!" Joy said.

"We should watch it again at my house," Marco said. "Cam, you should come too! Then you'll finally know what we're talking about."

Cam poked at the turkey sandwich. "Yeah. Maybe."

Joy looked up. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Marco tilted his head. "You've been quiet all day."

Cam shrugged. The stone-inside-a-stone feeling was back. It pressed against Cam's ribs.

"Cam," Joy said. She put her marker down. "Tell us."

And Cam didn't plan to say it. Cam planned to say "nothing" again and take a bite of sandwich and be fine. But instead, what came out was:

"Somebody always feels like the third one."

It came out quiet. Almost a whisper.

Joy blinked. Marco stopped drawing.

"Two is easy," Cam said, staring at the sandwich. "Three is harder. The sidewalk fits two people. The swings fit two people. The zip line fits two people. And I'm always the one that doesn't fit."

Nobody said anything for a moment. A bird landed on the edge of the table, looked at them, and flew away.

"I didn't know," Joy said. Her voice was small — completely different from her big laugh.

"Me neither," Marco said. He put his marker down too. "Cam, I'm sorry. I didn't even think about—"

"I know you didn't mean it," Cam said. "That's what makes it so confusing. You're not being mean. It just... happens."

Joy scooted closer on the bench. Marco came around to Cam's side of the table and sat down, so now all three of them were squeezed together on the same bench, shoulders touching.

"Okay," Joy said, in her I'm-figuring-this-out voice. "So what if we made a rule?"

"What kind of rule?" Cam asked.

"Like... if something only fits two, we take turns. Not the same two every time."

Marco nodded. "And we check. Like, if two of us are talking about something the other person doesn't know about, we stop and explain. Or change the subject."

"And," Joy added, "if somebody's walking behind on the sidewalk, we notice."

Cam looked at them — Joy with her serious brown eyes, Marco with his marker-stained fingers — and the stone inside the stone started to crack, just a little.

"Can we do the rock wall?" Cam said.

"Yes!" Marco said.

"Race you!" Joy said.

"Wait," Cam said. "All three of us. Side by side. There's three lanes."

Joy grinned. Marco grinned. Cam grinned.

They ran to the rock wall — not two in front and one behind, but three across, bumping elbows and laughing, taking up the whole path.

They climbed side by side, three lanes, three colors — Cam on the blue wall, Joy on the red, Marco on the green. Cam looked left and saw Marco reaching for a handhold. Cam looked right and saw Joy pulling herself up, her loud laugh bouncing off the walls.

"I'M WINNING!" Joy shouted.

"NO WAY!" Marco shouted.

Cam didn't shout anything. Cam just climbed, grinning so hard it hurt, because for the first time all day — all week — nobody was behind.

They reached the top at almost the same time. Joy first, then Cam, then Marco by half a second.

They sat up there on the platform, legs dangling, looking out at the whole adventure park spread below them — the zip line and the jumping pillow and the little picnic table where three juice boxes sat in a row.

"Hey Cam?" Marco said.

"Yeah?"

"Next time, tell us sooner. Okay? Don't wait until it's a stone inside a stone."

Cam laughed. "I didn't say stone inside a stone out loud."

"You didn't have to," Marco said. "I could see it on your face."

Joy put one arm around Cam and one arm around Marco and squeezed.

"Three IS harder," she said. "But we're going to be good at it."

And sitting up there, three across, shoulders touching, looking out at everything — Cam believed her.